For over two decades, I’ve worked as a civil rights advocate. I helped people see disparities in the workplace. I revealed people’s shortcomings, especially as it applied to how they were treating their employees, their colleagues, and their teams. And you know what? My work ultimately created a special lens I wore in all aspects of my life. While I worked, while I played, while I hung out alone. I saw a lot of discord. At work. At home. In my head. It was everywhere.

Disagreements are inevitable. But there are so many different ways to handle them. The magic is in the approach. If we want disagreements to lead to something meaty and tangible, I think we need to lean more towards approaches that build bridges. Otherwise, we usually end up constructing walls. I’m sure you’ve seen this play out in your own life. Finding a way to respond with compassion in the face of disagreements is a powerful tool for creating understanding, empathy, and ultimately, unity.

Does that sound like something you can use? If so, let’s explore how we can navigate these moments with grace and build bridges that connect us.

Embrace Open-mindedness

The foundation of building bridges in disagreements is an open mind. Approach conversations with a willingness to listen and understand differing viewpoints. Acknowledge that your truth may not be the only truth and that there is value in exploring diverse perspectives. Open-mindedness creates space for constructive dialogue and fosters an environment where bridges can be built.

Practice Active Listening

Effective communication is a two-way street, and active listening is the key. When you find yourself in a disagreement, listen. But not to respond. Listen, rather, to understand. Give the speaker your full attention, and try to avoid interrupting. One way to do this is to ask clarifying questions to make sure you’re hearing their perspective. By truly hearing each other, you lay the groundwork for compassion and connection.

Find Common Ground

Even in the most heated disagreements, there’s usually a way to find common ground. Identify shared values, concerns, or goals that can serve as a foundation for understanding. Emphasizing commonalities creates a sense of unity, making it easier to bridge the gap between differing opinions.

Choose Empathy Over Judgment

Empathy is the bridge that connects hearts. Instead of rushing to judgment, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Consider their experiences, emotions, and motivations. Understanding their perspective on a deeper level can soften the edges of disagreement and pave the way for compassion.

Use “I” Statements

When expressing your views, try to use “I” statements to convey your thoughts and feelings without sounding accusatory. This might sound something like: “I feel” instead of “You always.” This approach promotes personal responsibility for your emotions and encourages a more empathetic response from others.

Take a Break When Needed

Disagreements can become emotionally charged, and it’s okay to step away when needed. Taking a break allows both parties to cool off, reflect, and return to the conversation with a clearer mindset. Use this time to consider the other person’s perspective and find common ground.

Seek Solutions, Not Winners

Shift the focus from winning an argument to finding solutions. Disagreements often arise from a desire to be right, but true understanding comes from working together to find common-sense solutions. Approach the conversation with a collaborative mindset, emphasizing the shared goal of resolution.

Let’s Build Bridges for a More Connected World

Fostering compassion in disagreements is a transformative process that requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to building bridges. In a world filled with diverse voices, the ability to connect despite differences is what ultimately creates a tapestry of unity. By embracing open-mindedness, practicing active listening, finding common ground, choosing empathy, using “I” statements, taking breaks when needed, and seeking solutions, we can build bridges that span across disagreements, creating a more connected and compassionate world.

Want more? Grab a copy of Heal the Four Woundings.